Human Design System - Love, Sex and Caring in Relationships
Human Design System - Love, Sex and Caring in Relationships
Do you desire profound keys to how you are designed to successfully, peacefully and surprisingly connect in partnership and love relationships that are satisfying? IHDS Certified Human Design Relationship Analysts like myself can help!
Knowing YOUR way of Loving, Caring and experiencing Sex can offer clues to help you accept the kind of movie you’re in.
Which are you?
Are you more of a chick-flick kinda whirl, or maybe romantic comedy is your thing?
Do you have a “Romeo and Juliet” style of storyline?
Perhaps you’re in a steamy romantic action film?
Maybe the unrequited love and romantic drama is more your style?
Oooh here’s my favorite - the fantasy adventure with some magic on the side?
Or how about a romantic thriller, the kind of damsel in distress show that has you on the edge of your seat?
The funny thing is, although I’m using these homogenized movie dramas to illustrate the point that we all have different ways we’re attuned to love, there are billions of reality shows going on right now, and none of them fit perfectly into those categories above. We are all designed to love, care, and have sex uniquely!
The more I decondition, the less attractive and real those movies seem, as I’m captivated more by the real-life movie I watch in the people who come to me for advice in their romantic partnerships.
Remember entering into relationships correctly is about Strategy and Authority, not what your mind thinks about any of this stuff. Yes, this is incredibly fascinating. Yet remember to follow your body into alignment. Personally I find great fun in unlocking the mysteries of how we connect, feels like reading those Nancy Drew novels when I was a kid.
In Human Design, there are layers and layers and layers of “keynoting” words or word-phrases that help us understand the function of the 64 Genetic Codes and their 6 different binary ways they show up in humans.
In this article, I’ll introduce the love codes that can give you a general theme of how you love as an introduction and point you to further resources to learn about them. I first learned about these as they were briefly mentioned in my Human Design Foundations classes. You can watch a 30 minute video of me presenting on them here.
THE GENETIC IMPRINTING of LOVE
Ask a physicist, and they’ll tell you love is chemistry.
Ask a romantic, and they’ll tell you it’s a yearning that drives all great fables.
The psychotherapist will tell you there are several kinds of love.
“Love” can be a generic term, for there are so many different nuances to the feelings of love.
One thing we can all agree on: it is impossible to thrive in life without love. Love can seem like an eternal mystery, the idealized myth of fairytales… but when you begin to look at love through the lens of Human Design mechanics, you’ll find that love is all about connectivity.
There are certain hexagrams Gates in the Rave I-Ching that carry the frequency we call love. In Human Design we call these (hexagrams) the “Love Gates.”
Whether you have all the Gates of Love consistently defined in your bodygraph, none of them or something in between, the way you experience those feelings we term love is outlined in these ten gates. If activated in an undefined center, you will be conditioned by that gate anytime it gets defined. If the gate is open (not colored in) then you’re here to experience and can amplify all the ways love can show up in your life. Wisdom is derived here if operating correctly. Rely upon Strategy and Authority to make decisions and the love nurtures you in this life. Make decisions from trying to find or hang onto these themes of love in your life and witness the pain of the mind manifest your not self suffering.
There are two primary themes of love; Transcendent and Mundane. The four Transcendent gates of love are looking for love through the other, and are rather impersonal. Rarely do these gates carry the powerful, intense feelings of love that the Mundane gates do.
The seven everyday, personal, “Mundane” (as Ra called them) gates of love are looking for love with someone, emerging according to the theme of that gate.
There is one gate (10) that carries both Mundane and Transcendent Love themes.
The Transcendent Gates of Love
Transcendent gates of love are the extraordinary, non-mundane kind of love associated with the following themes:
“The Spirit of the Self” Hexagram of Innocence: Human Design Gate 25 - Universal Love
Being loving in the universe; having a place to be loving towards what everything is.
Godhead: Michael - The Angelical Mind
“Modesty” Hexagram of Extremes: Human Design Gate 15 - Love of Humanity
Loving being human; caring about humanity and having a collective vision of how human beings are supposed to operate.
Godhead: Parvati - The Goddess of Marital Felicity
“Pushing Upward” Hexagram of the Determination of the Self: Gate 46 - Love of the Body
Loving the body; recognizing the beauty of everybody’s form, understanding the beauty of each body as a unique vessel.
Godhead: Christ “Love Thy Neighbor”
“Treading” Hexagram of Behavior: Gate 10 - Loving being Alive (Transcendent)
Loving being alive in the world; loving the world as it is, loving one’s-self
Godhead: Vishnu “The Godhead of Monotheism”
“The nature of the real Tantra, the love of humanity and the love of the body, they actually go out—and this is very technical—they actually go out through the 10th gate. That is, the 15 goes through the 10, it’s opposite, and the 46 goes through its 25, it’s opposite. Now this is the vaguest system in our health process. In other words, this is literally the way we breathe and live, okay. And it’s a very important circuit that’s in the body. It’s not a circuit I teach you, because it’s something that’s involved in health and in medical practice to understand this circuit. So when you’re looking at, for example, the love of humanity (gate 15), that the natural outlet of the love of humanity is to go through the 10 and either to be awakened, to find your form, or to follow your convictions. That’s one.
On the other side, the love of the body (gate 46) leads to initiation and an entry into communion. In other words, those movements are like this. So you can see what happens is that the individual Tantra fuels our direction and the themes of our direction whereas the Tantra that is collective then goes back into the body itself, goes back down. It’s not looking for the Throat,—goes back down into us. So, for example, the nature of the 15-5 establishes its rhythm to find the perfected form. In other words, to bring that rhythm to a perfected form and in bringing that to a perfected form, the ability to have the energy necessary to struggle in this life. In other words, there’s a whole movement that goes around.
The same thing is true for the love of the body. To initiate the community to the love of the body. To initiate the community to the body as temple which is why we build temples. We build temples because the 46 leads naturally to the 25, it’s opposite which is the priest or the priestess who says we will give them a temple for them. We will create a temple for them. We will create a body. This is the body of faith. You go into a church, you go into a synagogue, you go into a mosque. What you’re going into is the 29-46, going out the 25-51, and down into the 40-37.” Ra Uru Hu
How Your Human Design Charts Connect
Connecting to people who have these gates consistently active in their design, you experience them as naturally loving. It’s just the way they’re hardwired. Their way of searching for a greater love is to be loving - it doesn’t necessarily mean that they love you specifically; the love itself isn’t necessarily in their other.
In a relationship with these people, it can feel like they are looking beyond you for even greater love. This can be a possibly disturbing experience for others to connect to when attempts are made to make their impersonal loving personal… don’t get offended when they don’t love you back. Its just mechanics.
People with these Gates can be very nice to have around despite their love rarely feeling personal. Transcendent love doesn't have to be personal to feel good and give you that sense of joy and possibility of life with the other. These four gates have a transpersonal quality deeply rooted in the G Center.
Again, this love goes beyond simply identifying with another - it’s finding love through someone. Rarely ever felt as strongly as personal love, transcendent love gates make up the Cross of the Vessel of Love.
The Mundane Gates of Love
Mundane Gates of love are looking for love with somebody through the dynamic connection and unique expression particular to each gate. There is nothing more intense than the definitions in composite charts that involve these gates when they bring connections to each other.
Each of these Gates carries with it a demand for personal connectivity. It is through these seven Mundane Gates - 10, 44, 40, 58, 41, 28, 55 - that we get our illusions of personal love
Mundane gates of love operate through mundane terminology or keynotes - that is, this is the ordinary, every day, earthbound kind of love that finds love through these gate specific themes with another.
Which of these gates lead you to experiencing love through these unique aspects of love with the other?
Hexagram of Behavior: Gate 10 - Self Love through Others (Mundane)
Finding love of the Self through being loved by others.
Hexagram of Alertness: Gate 44 - Successful Love
Finding love through material success; the love of talent.
Hexagram of Aloneness: Gate 40 - Earning Love
Finding love through work to earn appreciation; the love of work if the work is supported and the work supports the people they love.
Hexagram of Aliveness: Gate 58 - Perfecting Love
Creating out of correction and challenge, perfect love; love that proves the strength of love.
Hexagram of Contraction: Gate 41 - Dreams of Love
Finding love through fantasies and sexual experience.
Hexagram of the Game Player: Gate 28 - Love with Purpose
Finding love through the struggle for purpose.
Hexagram of Spirit: Gate 55 - Eternally Indecisive Love
Mysterious, mystical, emotional Love that doesn't know if it really loves; unrequited love
Layers of Interconnectivity - the Human Design Love Connection
All these ways of connecting are part of our program of learning and evolution. Each and every one of us has multiple layers of connectivity to others. But whether we have a connection through these Transcendent or Mundane gates, we call the emotion we feel through those connections Love. Knowing these gates can help you understand and recognize why situations can be uncomfortable, and free you from repeating unhealthy behavioral patterns.
The Love Gates describe the many themes of love that we can experience with all the people in our lives. Because everything is a duality, these can also be gates of “I don’t love,” or even hate, as well.
Most of us have some of these gates consistently defined within us, and it’s through these gates that we can learn about love from our connection with others by being ourselves.
If you have an activated Love Gate in an open center, when someone comes along with the electromagnetic (the opposite gate completing that channel) you may experience that relationship as “The One” and most likely may feel a stronger sensation of love than the other feels for you.
If you have an activated Love Gate in a defined center, your love for the person who brings the electromagnetic simply isn’t as powerful or compelling. It’s still there, but you don’t have the same response. You’re naturally investigating other connectivities.
The moment that you can be yourself and see the love for what it truly is, you can accept the other for who they are and be with them without trying to change or fix them. Our unique capacity for love develops within us through following our Strategy and Authority; not only for the benefit of others, but also for ourselves.
"If you allow someone to be who they are and they allow you to be who you are, then that's Love. Anything else is torture." Ra Uru Hu
Based on a fundamental transcendent love,
Human Design is a tool that helps everyone
to understand the various kinds of love,
how it works, and ultimately find self-love.
If you’re a mental Projector or the like who really enjoys self-study, I highly recommend “The Love Gates” Human Design System class - an audio program by Ra Uru Hu. Unfortunately the recording is old and not great quality; still if you like listening to Ra it is well worth the cost and the five and a half hours you’ll spend listening to it. It was one of the first programs I bought, even before I joined the Jovian team! (Disclosure: Although I still do work with Jovian, the above link is not an affiliate link nor am I paid to promote their products on my blog. I just like sharing what I’ve found that has been helpful in my experience. Original Love article written under previous name of Andrea Abay-Abay in early 2015 by invitation from JovianArchive.com. Republished here with permission.)
Did you know?
Love is just one of the many ways we are designed to connect with each other. There are also
STREAMS of SEXUALITY
STREAMS of CARING
Want to learn more in an interactive group format with two experienced Human Design Teachers?
Using our Human Design Charts, we will explore how the energy moves and discover our unique, genetic way of expressing love, caring and sexual intimacy.
"The Feminine Dance of Intimacy, with others and Yourself" is a unique experience where we will be adventuring on a guided journey through our Human Designs in a sacred space and a safe, protected environment of supportive soul-sisters. We'll discover our own unique ways of loving, caring and being sexual through facilitated group and individual exploration of our Human Design Charts, sharing stories, guided/induced meditations and journaling.
This small gathering of women is only (this time around) is open to those who have had a Foundation Reading or have taken a Living Your Design Awakening Program.
Friday Evening, for those who can join early, we'll meet and get acquainted in-person over a potluck meal, as correct for your PHS. This evening is optional and will not be livestreamed.
We begin our journey with invoking the sacred Feminine and will hold space both Saturday & Sunday from 10am to 5pm with a nice 90min break for lunch. Lectures will be livestreamed, cost is 50% off for those who want to join us virtually.
Every session will flow out of the needs of the individuals in the group, and take us on a healing journey of empowered connection for a cycle of growth born from true comprehension and compassion of what you really are, and who you were born to be.
Would you like to be the first to experience this facilitated journey of self-discovery when it comes to being supported and sharing the true aspects of Caring, Sex and Love in your design?